Always Red Read online

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  “But when he tells you nothing happened, nothing happened. If you know Caleb, and I think you do, you know he’s too honest for his own good.”

  “I need to apologize to him. I-I want him back.”

  “He thinks you don’t. He thinks you hate him and that you’d left with Damon. Maybe you both need some time to cool off.” He let out a sigh. “She was here too.”

  I frowned. “Who?”

  “Beatrice-Rose. She was here looking for Caleb just an hour ago.”

  My eyes widened in alarm, and I looked at him questioningly.

  “No, I didn’t tell her where he is,” Cameron said, smiling.

  I gave him a watery smile in return.

  “Will you”—he looked at Kara again, then back to me—“take care of her for me?”

  I nodded, because he had taken care of Caleb for me. Because I could see how much he cared for Kara and how much he hurt.

  I understood him. Even though I didn’t know his reasons, I understood there were inner demons that prevented us from being with the person we wanted most.

  I knew that very well.

  When I got back in the car, I told Kara what Cameron had told me.

  “Beatrice-Rose is like that evil spirit in The Grudge, you know? That ugly, scary mofo who follows people around? There was this one scene where she chased what’s-her-name—that chick who played Buffy the vampire slayer? Have you seen that movie? Poor girl fell from the hospital building. Ugh. Beatch is exactly that evil spirit.”

  Do you like scary movies? We should watch scary movies together. I have a list… In my mind, I saw Caleb’s handsome, smiling face asking me those questions as we sat in his car. I shook my head, trying to erase the memory.

  “Do you want to go to the cabin? I’ll drive you, but you have to get the address from Cameron.”

  My eyes welled up with tears. I was so emotional that I didn’t recognize myself. I’d gone from having no constant in my life to having Kara.

  I’d had Caleb too…but I was on the verge of losing him. He was changing me. He had changed me.

  “Oh, Ver. Come here,” Kara soothed, pulling me to her.

  “He left. Caleb left me.”

  She rubbed my back. “Well, you hurt him pretty bad, sweetie. You were such a dick to him,” she said after a moment. “You accused him of cheating, but cheating requires consent from both partners. Believe me, I know. He was a good friend who wanted to help Beatrice-Rose, but he was really stupid for lying in that bed with her. I mean, come on, Caleb—really? If you did that shit with another guy, he’d bust a nut.”

  I half choked and half laughed. Count on Kara to be blunt—and right.

  Her tone turned serious. “You’re my friend, Veronica, and I love you. I know you’ve got daddy issues and a whole buttload of other issues, but if you let them control you, you’re going to lose Caleb.

  “Do you want to hold on to your baggage or hold on to him? You know when they say ‘If you love someone, let them go’—‘or set them free’ or whatever bullshit they cooked up to put on their damned meme? Fuck that. If I love someone, I’m going to hold on with both of my hands. My feet—hell, my teeth too. That ship ain’t gonna sail without me.”

  She had a point, but I grew up in a family where I’d learned at a young age that staying with and fighting for a person could be toxic. Sometimes it was better to let go.

  But Caleb was different. He had always been good to me. Losing him was what it took for me to realize that.

  “He’s a guy, Ver, and you kind of kicked his balls to the curb. So he just needs to feel like a man again. You know, clear his head, drink booze, not shower for days. Disgusting guy stuff. But if you want, we can still drive there.”

  I shook my head. “Not tonight, Kar. I don’t think…I don’t think he wants to see me. I’ll wait till he comes back. He’s coming back, right? He has to come back.”

  “Of course he will, stupid.” She paused. “Know what? You need to get out of this funk you’re in. I’m going to text Beth and see if she’ll meet us at the coffee shop.”

  “Kar, I want to go home.”

  She patted my shoulder. “Well, that’s too bad, isn’t it?”

  Ten minutes later, the aromatic smell of coffee and freshly baked bread greeted my nostrils as we entered the little coffee shop. My stomach rumbled, and I realized I hadn’t eaten since morning. Kara’s sandwich was still in my bag.

  The coffee shop was only occupied by a few patrons, mostly college students since it was close to the school. An older lady with a big yellow Labrador was trying to sit in a booth, but her dress was caught on the side of the seat. She was wearing shades and holding a white cane to help balance herself.

  “Hello,” I said softly. “I’m just going to help you here a bit. Your dress is caught on the seat.”

  “Oh, thank you, young lady.”

  “You’re welcome. You have a beautiful dog.” I crouched in front of the dog, scratching her chin.

  “Yes, she is. This is Catnip right here. My granddaughter named her.”

  I chuckled. “Hello, Catnip.”

  Catnip gave me a friendly grin and bumped her nose on my arm.

  “Beth’s not here yet. Let’s sit here,” Kara called out, choosing a seat near the window where there was a view of the airport.

  It was getting dark, and the yellow and red runway lights flickered like a blazing fire.

  “I’ll get us some drinks,” I said. “Chocolate milk shake?”

  “Yup. With whipped cre—motherfucker.”

  I looked up in alarm and turned my head to where Kara was glaring.

  “She’s here,” Kara snarled.

  I looked over. Beatrice-Rose and Justin were seated at a table in the back of the café, talking quietly with their heads close together as if plotting something evil.

  Beatrice-Rose was just everywhere today.

  “Let’s sit close to them. Come on.”

  “No. Kar!” But it was no use—she was already up and moving. “Kara! Come back here!” I hissed.

  Kara sat at the table behind the older lady and Catnip, perfectly angled so Beatrice-Rose and Justin wouldn’t spot us unless they turned their heads. I glared at Kara as I sat down across from her.

  She grinned, and I grinned back because it was genius. I couldn’t really hear what Beatrice-Rose and Justin were talking about, and I almost giggled because Kara was making gagging faces. But when I flicked my eyes toward Beatrice-Rose, my heart jumped into my throat.

  There, around her forefinger, was the key chain I’d given Caleb as a present. She was twirling it.

  My blood boiled. I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing when I got up and marched toward her.

  “Where the hell did you get that?” I demanded.

  Beatrice-Rose’s eyes widened in fear for a brief second before she hid the emotion and replaced it with disdain.

  “Hi, Veronica,” she said, smirking.

  “Stop with the pretending. I’m getting sick of it.” My eyes darted to Justin as he leaned back in his seat. He crossed his arms across his chest and grinned like he was ready for a show. His attitude made me sick to my stomach.

  “Where did you get that key chain?” I asked again.

  “This?” She raised her eyebrows in innocence. “Justin bought it for me.”

  Justin had a foul smile on his face. “Yep. I did. Cheapest shit I ever bought.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “I don’t know why you keep throwing these accusations at me,” Beatrice-Rose said. “Frankly, I’m the one getting sick of you and your accusations. You’re imagining things. I am trying to be patient and understanding with you, Veronica, but you make it so hard. And now you’re accusing me of what? Stealing?”

  “It’s not any better than kissing a guy without his consen
t while he’s asleep,” I said coolly.

  She paled.

  “I saw you at Caleb’s place a few hours ago,” I added. “What were you doing there?”

  I wasn’t going to play her game. She was a professional liar and a great actress, but her face was getting splotchy and anger filled her eyes.

  “Did you go up to his apartment and steal that?” I gestured at the key chain. “Did you force your way into someplace where you’re obviously not wanted?”

  “You bitch!” she shrilled. She stood up just as the server was delivering her coffee and cried out in anger as the coffee spilled on her white dress.

  Kara laughed behind me.

  “Fuck!” Beatrice-Rose screamed. Her eyes were wild as they zeroed in on me. When I saw her raise her hand, I took a step back, but she lunged at me.

  “I’m the one he loves!” she spat out. “Me!”

  I held her off as she threw her weight on me, trying to claw at my face. I would have fallen on the floor, but instinct made me step to the side, widening my stance for support, and I was able to push her past me instead and let gravity do the rest.

  The low growling made me spin around. Beatrice-Rose was sprawled on the floor, her eyes wide with fear as she slowly got on all fours. Catnip was crouched low so that her eyes were level with Beatrice-Rose’s, sharp canine teeth bared and ready to rip skin.

  “If this dog attacks me, I will sue you, you blind hag. And this fucking coffee shop! Get it the hell away from me!” she shouted.

  All bets were off now that Beatrice-Rose was showing her true self. So far from the sweet and vulnerable persona she had going the first time we met.

  “You’re so pathetic. I feel nothing but sorry for you,” I said.

  Kara came up beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder. She peered down at Beatrice-Rose. “Wow. You’re really embarrassing yourself.”

  The older lady pulled Catnip back. The dog calmed down, but her eyes were trained on Beatrice-Rose, ready to attack if needed.

  Beatrice-Rose got up, brushing away the hair that had fallen across her face, her extensions barely hanging on her hair. One plopped onto the floor. Her eyes widened in embarrassment as she kicked it away.

  “I’m going to sue you!” she spat at me.

  “For what? For attacking me?” I nodded at the small audience surrounding us. “We have at least five witnesses who saw everything.”

  Kara snorted beside me. Beatrice-Rose narrowed her eyes at her. I could almost see the wheels whirling in her devious mind.

  “You’re vulgar and cheap. I always wondered what Cameron saw in you.”

  “Oh my God, Beatrice-Rose!” Kara exclaimed, her eyes wide as she held her hands up. “Surprise me once in your life, will you? Say something intelligent. Oh wait, I forgot. Ask me if I give a flying fuck first.” She raised an eyebrow. “That’s right, I don’t.”

  Beatrice-Rose sneered at Kara. Her head jerked toward Justin, motioning with her chin. Justin sighed and got up. He took a threatening step toward Kara.

  Before he could do anything, I got in his face. “Do you want me to beat you up again? Because this time I’ll aim lower.”

  Justin turned red. I knew he was going to hit me even before he raised his fist, but he froze. I felt someone approach from behind me.

  Theo. He positioned himself protectively in front of me. I turned my head and spotted Beth beside me, offering moral support. Her blue hair and mismatched eyes winking at me. I felt my heart expand as if it would burst with happiness. They were here for me, here to support me. Touched, I blinked back my tears.

  Theo didn’t say anything, just looked tall and intimidating and big enough to beat the hell out of Justin. He crossed his arms, his head turned down as he glared at Justin.

  Justin backed away. “I wasn’t doing anything, man.”

  “Leave,” Theo whispered dangerously.

  Justin held his hands up, grabbed his drink, and walked away. Beatrice-Rose looked from us to him, then back to us. She had a look of hate on her face.

  “This isn’t over,” she warned before grabbing her purse from her seat and walking away.

  “Bye, bitch. I hope your favorite dessert is disappointment because that’s what you’ll be having for a while,” Kara singsonged.

  When Beatrice-Rose was gone, Kara and Beth opened their arms to me. I swallowed a sob-hiccup and happily joined the group hug. Theo cleared his throat and awkwardly patted our backs.

  I let out a contented sigh.

  Chapter Three

  Veronica

  It had been a week since I last saw Caleb. A week of torture. A week of unsent texts and canceled phone calls. A week of mostly sleepless nights. The sleep I managed to get only lasted a few hours and was fitful and disrupted by nightmares. I’d wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed.

  I often dreamed about Caleb asking me to fight for him, to run after him, but when I did, I never seemed to reach him. He always vanished whenever I got close.

  I missed him.

  People always say you never know how much a person means to you until they’re gone. My mom had passed away, but I had always known what she meant to me. Caleb, though… I didn’t know he was such a big part of my life until he was gone.

  Almost every day after Caleb left, Beth, Theo, and sometimes even Damon came over to hang out at Kara’s. I didn’t know how Damon had eased in, but he was now a part of the group. It touched me how supportive they were. I’d never had real friends before.

  I worked almost every day at the garage that week and was surprised to find Damon working there one day.

  I looked up when he approached my desk and handed me the keys to a truck he had finished working on. He didn’t offer an explanation, just winked at me and swaggered away.

  “Yeah, he comes and goes. He helps out when he’s back in town to visit his mom,” Kara explained when I asked her about it.

  “I think I was ten when I met Damon. He was a few years older, this French boy who spoke English so perfectly. I mean, every word that came out of his mouth sounded so precise, like he had practiced saying every English word in the dictionary, you know? He was so damn cute. I had a crush on him then, of course. Everyone did.

  “His dad passed away. His mom’s Canadian, so she moved them here from France to live with her sister. Then his mom worked for my dad at the garage. She’d bring Damon along with her or he’d come here after school, so we grew up together. My dad just sort of adopted him. He’s a drifter, though. I mean, he never stays in one place, but he always comes back here.

  “By the way, Ver, Damon works at this bar downtown, and we both know the owner. I help them out now and then—waitressing and whatnot—and I’m supposed to cover a shift this week, but…something came up. Would you be able to cover for me?” She batted her eyelashes at me, pouting her lips like a duck.

  “Um…”

  “You don’t have to mix drinks. You just have to take orders from assholes, deliver their drinks, bus tables, maybe wash dishes. That kind of thing. I’ll give you my firstborn unicorn child as payment. Plus, the tips are huge.”

  I agreed to do it.

  * * *

  The last time I was in a bar was when I first met Caleb. Now, as I stood in this bustling nightclub, I remembered that night. The way his eyes watched me intently, as if I were the only one in the room. The confidence he exuded when he wrapped his arms around my waist, and the almost comical look of shock on his face when I rejected him.

  I should stop thinking about him and concentrate on work. I had served in a restaurant and a bar before, but this one was busier, and Kara was right—the tips were huge. Maybe I could apply for a casual position here, as long as it didn’t clash with my schedule at the garage and school.

  Damon was on the stage, sitting on a stool with his guitar propped on his knee. He seemed ve
ry comfortable up there, as if he’d been performing his whole life. He looked the attractive musician that he was with his black fedora, dark-blue plaid shirt, jeans, and faded Converse shoes. His rings and silver crucifix necklace winked in the light as he strummed his guitar.

  A group of girls sat in front of him, giggling and whispering to each other as they stared up at him. Damon winked at me, and I rolled my eyes in humor.

  Tapping his foot as he plucked his guitar, he started to sing “Here without You” by 3 Doors Down.

  I loved this song. Humming under my breath, I turned to take orders from the new group that had just come in. There were at least ten of them, and they were already seated.

  My steps faltered, and for a split second, my heart stopped beating as I saw Caleb enter.

  I drank in the sight of him: his beautiful face, the way he walked and held himself. His eyes looked dark and sad, his jaw unshaven. He wore a black shirt under a faded blue denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up, exposing the tight lines of his forearms. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder, and his long legs clad in dark jeans and black boots strode confidently through the club. He looked bored as he raked a hand through his hair.

  Time stood still as I stared at him, my heart pounding, ringing in my ears as I waited…waited…

  Please look at me.

  And then he did.

  My breath stopped as his eyes met mine, but whatever hope I had in my heart vanished like smoke as I realized his eyes held no recognition.

  As if he didn’t even know me.

  As if I were a stranger to him.

  He had written me off.

  It felt like someone had ripped my heart right out of my chest. I heard my breathing, loud and shaky, and I realized that I was trembling. My legs felt like they were going to give out under me, so I held on to the table for support.

  “You okay, luv?”

  I nodded at Crystal, one of the nice servers at the club I had met earlier today.

  “You sure? You’ve got a huge crowd at table six. Do you want me to take over?”